Sooooo… One of those weird creepy dreams again. And again it was so clear and vivid at the time of dreaming yet turned all foggy and blurry as soon as I woke up.

There are a few things I still can remember however.

There were underground cells. Cells under Silvermoon. I’m in one of those cells. Restrained. I’m not alone either. There were people there. Like me. Again, not sure what that means, but I know there was something in common - some likeliness between all of us, besides being restrained that is. And that seems to be important for some reason too.

And also there were dark figures, not like all of us however, not restrained either. They were saying something and I’m sure I could hear and understand each their word at the time of the dream, but as always, I can’t remember a single word right now.

And the next and final clear memory from this dream is pain. Horrible agonizing pain… And the feeling of loss, which at the time seemed to be much more awful than the pain even…

But now I can not understand anything, it’s all like a thousand tiny shards of a big broken picture. But the picture is so badly shattered and so many pieces are still missing…

Something tells me it is NOT just a weird creepy dream. There is… must be something more to it.

And the voice is calling stronger. He says he knows the answers, he says he will tell me the truth…

He? How do I even know it is he? I’m so scared and confused. What if I’m going crazy? What if I need help? Whom do I turn to?

He loves me! He loves me! Sir Ojore, Ojo! He loves me too! I’m so happy that I think I can actually fly! Well, not really but I do feel all fluttery and light and HAPPY inside!

And you know what also? Even though the better half of those things Miss Juni told me sound weird and gross, I think I’d do them just for him.

*The rest of the page is covered in scribbles of hearts and Ojore’s name.*

*Her handwriting is quite sloppy and shaky on this page. Her hand was obviously not as cooperative as it usually is.*

Maaan, that was some beating!

They say I spent a few days unconscious, and then some weeks unable to move and needing to be fed from a spoon. My memory is still foggy in parts. I do remember a nice Tauren lady feeding me and tending to my wounds, but not much more. I also remember the Ogre. Seriously, things THAT big should NOT be able to sneak up on you THAT quietly. Damn, my head still hurts, and hums like a thousand huge bells whenever I do a sudden move or sit up too fast.

There’s also something very disturbing happening - names and faces of people that I am su~  was sure I never met or knew before are coming up randomly. They’re far too real, far too vivid to be an illusion, some I’m sure I even know what their voices sound like. Oh, this is so creepy. What’s going on?

I didn’t get hit TOO hard on my head, did I?

*A new diary is now placed in her backpack with all the single written all over pieces of paper smoothed out and folded between the book’s pages.*

Well, it looks like I’m done here. And it’s probably time to move somewhere else before the Raventusks refuse to give me food due to me not doing anything here anymore. It’s a shame though, the place is really pretty. The sunsets are magnificent here.

I wonder if it’s safe to return home yet, or if I should return at all. I do miss Uncle and Arayen, I wonder if they miss me. Probably not  

Also, I’m such a coward. I wanted to wtrite to Sir Ojore for a long time now, but for some reason I’m afraid to do so. Why? I just need to sit down and write. What do I write? What do I say? That I miss him? That doesn’t sound like something a true lady would sa       It’s not like I’m a true lady anyway. I’ll write.

*Another piece of paper is crammed up along with the other things in her backpack.*

Oh, this is not good. Not good at all. Am I going to feel funny around every troll man now? Well, it’s more so around the ones with big tusks and mohawks, but stiiiiil.

On a different note, Hinterlands are preeeeeeety! Its very dangerous however, and its easy to get lost there. I’m glad I met Kombe when I did, he knew the road better than I and thankfully we arived before dark. We even managed to do some jobs that were offered around there. It’s very nice to fight alongside with someone. My lapses in training are not so obvious and painful that way.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to fight alongside with Sir Ojore? I’d like that very much.

I hope I could see him again once I’m done here in Hinterlands. I miss him. And the things he’s been doing to me that night. Must not be thinking about that HERE. It’s very distracting. And embarrassing, since I start blushing, seemingly without any reason, and people go “Huh?”.

Kombe is very interesting and fun to be around. I like him. Nooooot the way I like Sir Ojore though. I think he thinks otherwise though. Nyah! Sitr Ojore is taller, and stronger and much more handsome, and… well, there are many more reasons why I like sir Ojore more.

I NEEEED to find a new book to write in, these paper scraps tend to run out of space waaaaay too fast.

Yet another nightmare today, first I saw her, she was staring at me the entire time as… as the Wretched did what they did, she was whispering, and pointing her finger, I could not hear what she was saying however, which, for some reason only makes it all so much more creepy.

And then there were guards. In my room. Searching, looking for someth

Oh, no! I must destroy this! Can’t risk keeping this! I’m sorry, Diary, I really am.

*This entire book was burned. Nothing remains from it except for a few charred coals lying inside the fireplace in Merlai’s room.*

*This is quite a neat book mostly filled with sketches of various dress designs and patterns. There are however notes added here and there in elegant elaborated handwriting.*

That’s called FASHION, you magnificent dolt! Not all clothes are supposed to be practical and comfortable! Some are designed to make you stand out from the crowd, to make you look ELEGANT.

Bah! Why do I even bother? “Merlai” and “elegant” can’t even be put in the same sentence. Just give her a nice expensive dress and watch her spill wine all over it, or trip and rip half the skirt off, or…

She was so much more fun before the brainwa       before the incident. What a shame.

Today’s is the day I repaint my nails and rearrange my hair into something new. Kalaith will be helping me. This will be a wonderful evening, I believe.


(( So I caved in and made another journal, for Merlai's bratty cousin Arayen this time. She has finaly began fleshing out into something, so it's time I took her one step firther. >.> ))

I’ve ran into that strange Blood Knight again. He wouldn’t stop fallowing me, didn’t say a WORD, just fallowed me, thinking I didn’t see him there - hiding awkwardly around the corners and flower stands. I lost him though… at least I think I did, or he stopped fallowing on his own.

He’s up to something fishy MOST DEFINITELY. And that letter he sent me was a ruse, he’s just been looking for an easy way to trick me into coming to him. “A different Knighthood Order”, riiiight… I might be stupid, but I’m not THAT stupid to not know that Blood Knights would not suffer any other similar organization in the city.

I wonder where does Arayen get these horrible skimpy dresses? Wearing the newest one she gave me makes me feel like I'm about to pop out of it 

I don’t think I’ll ever wear it in publik.      

*This is added the same day as the previous entry but a bit later and definitely in a much neater handwriting.*

Well, false alarm. He’s not after me to investigate the death of lady Veconia. And now that I’m reading the letter in makes me wonder even more as to who he is and what the hell does he want from meeeeeee?

Well, the letter does actually state what he wants from me. But it’s his initial approach that leaves me confused. I mean how exactly was all THAT a        ‘necessary test’?

So he opened up with insults, hinting that he could not tell if I was a boy or a girl… I mean I KNOW I’m not the prettiest apple in the bushel, but it’s definitely not THAT hard to tell that I’m a FEMALE.

Or… is it?

Well, in any way I do not need everyone rubbing that into my face every day of my li

This is the first time someone confused me with a

I’m sure one COULD tell I’m

I don’t think

I have BREASTS!!! They’re tiny, but they’re THERE!

I’m ALLRIGHT.   

He was just provoking me…   for some unexplainable reason.

But I digress.

Second thing that has me in puzzle is WHY would he need to act as if he was about to arrest me? That is the WEIRDEST way to recruit someone. Because THAT is what he’s attempting to do, I believe - convince me to join his Order. Which brings me to the last point.

What makes him think I have a choice to. Or… or even want to? It is not like I’m about to betray The Blood Knights   *An ink blot sits here*       well, technically I already did    

I’m not about to turn my back on those who 

*Another ink blot finalizes this entry. The book was most likely shut closed without drying, again.*

*The handwriting is very messy and barely readable. The contents of the page are smeared almost beyond recognition as if the book was shut closed before the ink could dry.*

They know something. Or at least suspect something! I’m terrified! What do I do?

Some Inquisitor approached me today and he demanded I go with him, said he needs me for some sort of investigation. This must be it! They found out! I’m DEAD!

I… did not go with him however, played stupid, said I did not know him and said I wouldn’t go with him and        and        and there were many people around and I started screaming when he grabbed my hand. And he let go of me and disappeared

For how long though? How long till he comes back again? How long till he has the documents allowing him to arrest me and                     And I must run. Hide, disappear, vanish from the city…

  Ojore. Perhaps he could help me?         No. no-no-NO! Can’t pull him into this, that’s not what friends would do, can’t endanger him! Must pack my belongings!

*Not much is said here. But one could definitely guess that she’s happy beyond imagination. …Judging by all the hearts scribbled around the final big fat word.*

It’s a horse! It’s a HORSE!!! Oh by the Sun-Well!  IT’S A HORSE!!!

They… they bought it. Just. Like. That. Accepted the Insignia, smiled at me broadly, congratulated and… And that was it? It can’t be THAT easy, can it? …Or…

I don’t know what to think. Or do. I probably should not do anything, or tell or…

I passed it. That is the most important thing.

Uncle was overjoyed.
He HUGGED me and said that he was PROUD of me. That is big. I mean THAT is REALLY BIG!

He also said that he has a present for me. I will receive it first thing tomorrow in the morning. OOOOOOHHHH! What could it beeeee?

It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. It WASN’T me! I didn’t kill her! I did NOT! The wretched did!

I didn’t do a thing! Didn’t do a thing to help her. Just stood there watching them rip her to shrea                    

No-no-nooo! There were too many of them, I could not do anything to help her. I couldn’t

And then if I did help, I would have failed the test. I HAD failed it miserably. But now that she’s dead no one will know. She will not tell the Order what a complete loss of a Blood Knight I am. And I have the Insignia of Passage. Picked it up from        from what was left of her. Now I just need to go and present the Insignia to Knight-Lord Bloodvalor, as if SHE has given it to me. As she was supposed to if I’d pass the test successfully. But I need to wash it first. Gosh, I washed it so many times already! I’m just paranoid. There is no blood on it anymore! I’m just paranoid!

I need a bath. I want to scrub myself until my skin comes off.

I did not kill her! I did not! I did NOT

Ara is progressing in her training rather nicely. Which is not very good. It is not very good considering that there are demons. Lots of demons. And she insists on bringing them all home. But if most of them are relatively sufferable, there’s one in particular that just gives me creeps and shivers. Kalaith – Ara’s Succubus. She’s just … … Tricky?

I don’t even know how to explain it, but something’s just very wrong about her. Something’s very wrong about the way her and Ara act like the bestest friends ever.

I mean it’s a demon! You are NOT supposed to befriend demons or more-so trust them. Especially a Succubus. Isn’t it a well known fact that Succubae are very talented at manipulating people? She’s way too sweet, waaay too friendly and charming. Fake. Dishonest.

Even Krag is more honorable in my opinion. (Gosh an honorable demon, did I really say that?) But at least he is honest. He doesn’t like this place. He doesn’t like any of us. He’s just doing what he must, WHILE he must. And if he ever breaks free… Well, that’s exactly what keeps everyone so cautious and concentrated when around him.

Then there’s Dagnip, but he’s an Imp fair and square – rude, disrespectful and destructive. He’s always up for mischief if you are not paying attention – HORRIBLE mischief, mischief that involves blowing furniture and cats up with huge sizzling fire bolts, which, in the end, tends to set the rest of the house on fire too.

And there’s that Felhunter (the huge tongue-breaking name of which I can never remember). That thing’s like a dog. Big STUPID and ANGRY dog, that is. We see the least of it since it’s so agonizingly hard to control and restrain.

Kalaith however, she somehow makes everyone so relaxed and oblivious. She makes everyone drop thir guard. Even me, sometimes. And THAT is what I find so very disturbing and alarming.

Talking to Arayen is of no use. She won’t even listen. She openly laughs at my concerns and calls me an ignorant fool. I bet. I’m sure Kalaith has already brainwashed her a hundred times over.

Perhaps I should talk to Uncle instead?

It is just like Mana – feels so wrong yet so good at the same time. I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad for having to leave when I did. Uncle said that things that feel very good are BAD for me. And, what sir Ojore was doing felt ooooh sooooo goooood! Sir Ojore, however, says that ‘this’ in particular is not bad for me, that he wouldn’t do anything that would be bad for me. I’m not sure whom to believe. Why would Uncle lie to me? Is sir Ojore really all that trustworthy?

I need time to think. I am not sure I should meet with sir Ojore again… for NOW at least. I want to. But I’m not sure if I should         I need some time.

He will show me! He said he will show me what a Mating Season is! And I thought I’d just have to give up the hope of ever finding out. But Sir Ojore will show me! He said I can trust him, and I will, I know I can. Trolls are trustworthy.

He kept on touching me. But not like the other people usually do. He touched me differently. It felt odd    funny    stran     no       well, actually yes -  strange, inappropriate even.

His touches made my cheeks burn and not just cheeks. I wanted to curl up and hide, yet at the same time I couldn’t make myself push him away. I tried to, but I couldn’t. 
I think I didn’t really want him to stop doing that. 

*Added much later.*

I can’t sleep. My stomach is turning and acting up as if something’s about to happen. I can’t tell if it’s something bad or good though. I keep on seeing his face, the way he smiled at me. I keep on remembering the way he touched me. My ears. Those felt the funniest. As if… as if light electricity shot through them and went through my entire body. Yet when ~I~ touch them nothing happens.

What is happening to me? Why is this happening to me, why do I feel so odd?

Why do I want him to touch me again?

From time to time I keep on having these strange dreams.

The dreams which are so vivid and realistic that after I wake up I can’t tell for sure if it was just a dream or if it was a recollection of something that has ACTUALLY happened a while ago.

It gives me an impression that there was something that I do not remember now, and these dreams give me glimpses, small shreds of a bigger picture. Or…

Or maybe those are just weird dreams. After all how could there be something I don’t remember? I remember it all, starting from my early childhood and up till today…

                   …or… do I?

No-no, there it all is, the childhood, the fun time before Ara turned into a snobbish unapproachable witch, the fall of Quel’Thalas, the deaths of my paren~      Now THAT’S something I’d gladly forget altogether… Then me living in Uncle’s house, Uncle enrolling me with the Blood Knights… That’s… all of it. Nothing else. I remember it all perfectly.

I am not crazy, am I?  Creeeepy.

I almost ate Sparkly today. Almost. ALMOST.

I probably would if Sir Matojo didn’t show up when he did.

I made a fool of myself AGAIN, this time by getting knotted in the bushes. What made me think I could jump over them just like he did? Trolls are very-VERY strong. He lifted me out of there like I was some kitten or something. Trolls are VEEEERY strong. And warm. And handso

Mana Emeralds are DELICIOUS! I wonder if I could get more of them somehow because… Because I hate ‘puling’ from Sparkly.

I hate it when strange people pat me on the head and pinch my cheeks as if I am a little child. I’m a Blood Knight! Blood Knights don’t get pinched on the cheeks. 
Sir Matojo said that if I don’t like that I should bite those people. I think I should try.

I was an idiot not to pay more attention to those wounds left from a ghoul! Sir Matojo said I could die. They are infected. And I thought itchy means they are healing up. Duh.

I still can’t cast any spells to save my life.

The mystery of Mating Season remains.

I loooooove strawbery icecream!